The beginning....How we found out Eric had Special Needs...

My name is Shauna.  I am a daughter, a wife and most important, a Mother!  I have to say people have been telling me I should BLOG about our life with Eric for a long time now.  My therapist, mostly!  I really have battled with it because for one, who would want to read about our boring day to day life?  Two...do I really have the time to add more to my life?  Well, I decided I could make time because if what I write about our life with Eric helps only one person...I will be happy.  If only one person understands where I am coming from...thats all I ask!

Let me start from the beginning....Eric was born July 30, 2006.  He was great in every way!  Being a first time Mom is so scary.  There are so many things to worry about!  Especially now that I had this new family to think about.  We moved closer to my family so that I could have help because Mark, my husband owns his own business and works non stop! 

Pretty much for the first 14 months of his life everything was smooth.  He was slow at developing but the doctors didn't seem too worried.  Then, October 2007 at 8:15am Eric started having what looked like a seizure.  I saw his eyes roll back and his fists were clenched.  He was non responsive for about 2.5 minutes.  Scared out of my mind...Mark called 911 while I stayed with Eric.  911 arrived minutes later just as Eric was coming back from the seizure.  He had no fever and was healthy.  Still in my pj's and had no makeup on not even shoes, the ambulance took us to Los Robles Hospital in Thousand Oaks, CA. 

When we arrived Eric was alert and happy as normal.  They did a CT scan and everything looked normal.  They said they needed Urine from him as well.  A way to get urine would be a tube in the penis or stick something called a UBAG around his penis...we chose the UBAG.  They did not have a childs Ubag so they put an adult one on him.  So at this time all we were waiting for was Urine from him.  We waited and waited.  Little stinker was holding it!   We ended up waiting about 3 hrs for some urine.   I checked the bag and sure enough he had finally gone...but only a tiny bit.  I called a nurse and told her they were waiting for urine and that he had some now.  She came in unstuck the bag...which was NOT labled by the way.  She said she was gonna go get it to the lab and it shouldn't be too long.  So, we waited more.  Still worried what all of this meant for Eric.  How would his life be with seizures.  I am a worrier!  A while later the Dr came in said all of his tests came back normal and discharged Eric at about 1pm.  We were to follow up with his pediatrician as well as a Neurologist.  

The day went by...I was worried all day for him.  The seizure was scary and I was worried it would happen again.  All that day my Mom came over to help.  I was afraid to let Eric sleep in his room all by himself so I put him in bed with Mark.  Mark is an early sleeper.  I do most of my laundry, dishes, paying bills at night because of being busy with Eric during the day.  So that night I decided to relax and watch my favorite soap I had TIVO'd.  I have a really hard time relaxing so I  consume cannabis to help. About 11pm I was sitting on the couch watching TV when the doorbell rang and a loud knock at the door.  I tried to ignore it but they were not giving up.  Not sure who it would be that late at night, I thought they had the wrong house.  They were not giving up and after 3 times of knocking and doorbell rings I answered.  It was 2 cops and a man from CPS (Child Protective Services).  They insisted on coming in and stood in my entry way as I woke up Mark.  They immediately seperated me and Mark and started questioning us without telling us why they were there.  The guy from CPS was a true JERK.  I have preivious scars from pimples on my face and dark bags under my eyes when I am tired.  The CPS guys asked me if I was on Meth...and that my face looked like I was on meth.  I have never done meth!  There was a good cop and a bad one just like the movies. 

After all the questioning they told us that Eric's Urine test at the hospital earlier came back with 3 drugs in his system.  Cannabis, benzodiazopene, as well as opiates.  Not only did I not know what 2 out of 3 of those things were...I told them it was wrong...there could be no way!  They told me that I had to get a bag packed for Eric and he was going with them back to the hospital.  I could not believe what was happening.  This was crazy.  Was I dreaming?!  Mark packed a bag for Eric as I had to put the carseat in the CPS guys car.  It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.  Give my son to these strangers that thought I was a drug addict!  I got a ticket for the cannabis. 

They took him back to the hospital and did another urine test.  Only this time....it came back clean!  Only 14 hrs later, there is no way they could have been gone that fast!  CPS guy called me from the hospital and told us about the clean test.  At that point he should have stopped all of what was happening but he didn't.   He proceeded to ask Mark if he had put his own urine in the bag so that we wouldn't have to wait anymore.  The CPS guy was so stupid he couldn't figure it out!   That was the longest night of my life.  I did not sleep....just cried!  He took Eric to a Foster home until we had figured everything out.

 In the meantime, Mark and I got lawyers.  We met a lawyer that next day and told her everything.  She advised us that Mark and I should each have a lawyer since Mark was not  endulging in cannabis we were gonna try and get them to release Eric to Mark.  So now that we had 2 lawyers we had a lot of work to do.  We were worried that they would place Eric in a Foster home permanently.  We were working hard to get CPS to release Eric to my Aunt and Uncle who lived near.  After a day and a half in Foster care...Eric was released to my Aunt and Uncle.  We were not allowed to see him until we went to court which was in a couple days. 

We went to court and it was crazy.  We felt so wierd being in a family court.  We saw many people there of many races and thought "Why are we here?!"  That day the judge questioned the 2 drug tests to the counsel.  The hospital obviously mixed up the urine.  The judge decided we would come back in 6 weeks.  In the meantime, she gave Mark custody and I was able to live there still but I was not allowed to be alone with my son.  I always had to have someone with me and Eric.  Mark had just started working from home luckily.  We were pretty much stuck at the house.  She told us to do random drug testing.  Which was about 40 minutes away...if we actually had jobs, we probably would have been fired because the drug testing was set up to make you fail.  I had to pee in front of this lady!  So awkward!  Our lawyer advised us to do this parenting class...which was a complete JOKE!  Mark and I were the ONLY married couple in the parenting class.   As well as he recommended I go to see a MFT (Marriage and Family Therapist).  This is how I met my Therapist of 3 years. 

We did everything we were asked.  These lawyers cost us $40,000 that we did not have.  Luckily we didn't have any Credit Card debt..so we had to charge most of it on the cards. It was the hardest time in our life!  We had a CPS person assigned to us and she came every 2 weeks like clockwork.  CPS even tried to pull a fast one on us...They had called and said someone had called and gave them a tip that we were still using drugs.  We called our lawyer immediately and she came for our meeting with CPS...CPS is a JOKE!!!  Do they even help anyone??  We went to mediation and even the mediator said she didn't think there was a deal to be made.  We were not settling for anything less than having our son back and all of this going away!  After 5 months of hell and deep soul searching...CPS dropped the case they day it was supposed to go to trial!  We were ready for Trial.  They closed the case!  They FINALLY realized they had this one wrong!  Los Robles Hospital mixed up the urine...so this was all their fault!  We could finally focus on WHY our son was having seizures and try to help instead of fight with the courts!  Mark and I are sooooo much stronger because of this whole crazy time in our life.   Eric was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy as well as seizures shortly after.  Now we can begin to focus on Eric more.  Get him what he needs.